keep your expectations low and i will rise to the occasion.


Friday, December 24, 2010

my (music)video blog for 2011

so, i wanted to do something a little more meaningful(maybe) than just posting random crap. while at times those kind of posts can be entertaining, it also gets old. instead, im going to combine two things that i love: life and of course, music videos.

the rules.

the how:

each day im going post a music video that mirrors some part of my life. maybe it is a literal expression of something that happened or a feeling i have. maybe it is a representation of something that someone close to me is going through at that time. maybe it is simply a song that has burned itself into my cerebral cortex and is fighting to hang on at all costs. regardless of the level of specific meaning, it will have some kind of connection to me each day.

the why:
why not!? i love music videos and i thought this would be a cool way to track the year 2011. and you know, maybe its not cool but i wont know until a give it a go.

the when:
no set time but i am going to shoot for one post each 24 period. some would call that "once a day".

the what:
a music video. most will probably be from bands that i listen to on a daily basis but depending on what im thinking about or what is going on in my life, i might change it up and throw in some random stuff that doesn't necessarily fall into the "music i like" category on facebook. there may be some explanation, if i feel like it or some lyrics quoted from the song if they really stand out to me. there also may be nothing but a music video.

the where:

right here. duh.

so that's the plan. love it or leave it, im going to do what i do. i also may special guests share some music videos as well. what?!?! no way!!! way. you never know what's going to happen on the jiggles puff!

well... minus the fact that i just basically told you what exactly is going to happen... that aside, this blog is gonna be crazy and unpredicatable...

Friday, October 15, 2010

friday's random music video vol. XXXVIII

not a lot of hope for the autobots in transformers 3...

if bumblebee cant even beat a regular non-living chevy suburban...

i think the decepticonz have been playing it all wrong... you dont need weapons. you need strategically placed emergency response vehicles that completely disregard their own street closures...

btw - this was 10 blocks from my house!

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

ok i give up...

im bored with this blog. i am stuck with my thoughts all the time and putting them down on a blog just doesnt seem interesting.

im going to go in a new direction. i have a concept and im excited about it.

stay tuned... it should be good.

err... well, different anyways.

instant humility

Monday, October 11, 2010

wow simpsons... you got dark.

uh oh... skins learned how to play football

After Landry's interception, one Packer tried to strip the ball away from him. "Landry's got the biggest arms you've ever seen on a guy his size. You're going to try to strip the ball from him?" said linebacker Chris Wilson. "LaRon could have curled that guy."

what a fantastic game. and what a fantastic season this is shaping up to be. in a season where parody across the nfl is the most adequate way to describe the current season, i think we really have a chance.

sure we make a lot of bonehead mistakes. giving up a million points to the texans in the 4th quarter definitely goes on the short list but we bounce back, better than we have most previous seasons.

can you believe this is the first time we have won back to back games since middle of 2008?

honestly, i dont care who we lose to out of the nfc east. beating the favored packers was a bonus. i just want to beat the cowboys, eagles and giants. especially the cowboys and giants because their quarterbacks are tremendous babies (i have seen them both cry on the field) and i love when we make them sad.

this is the best redskins team in a long time for the following reasons:

1. LaRon Landry - he just pummels people play after play. look for the guy that is horizontal with the ground about to take out the ball carrier/receiver/blocker/ref/guy on the sideline taking pictures and its probably him.

2. Donovan McNabb - he is an actual NFL quarterback... tested and confident in his abilities. i had almost forgot what leadership at the quarterback position looked like...

3. Shanahans - father and son team that have real NFL coaching experience. as much as i liked the all the jokers (minus joe gibbs) that have graced us with their ineffective coaching, its nice to simply worry about the play of the 53 man roster and not have to worry about the loser coach messing things up.

ok - that was my thoughts on the game. all hail.

Friday, October 8, 2010

friday's random music video vol. XXXVII


finch - "what it is to burn"

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

my so called (football) life - week 3

special thanks the great people at 19th bar who ran the first annual big ass pig roast. i watched the majority of college football drunk as can be. super. moving on, lets run through the weekend.

usc beat washington state: sure, washington state is terrible... but its a conference game baby! defense allowed no points in the second half! - 2 points
notre dame lost to stanford: i love it when notre dame loses! i love it even more when its loss comes from the pac 10. notre dame, grow up and get in a conference already. - 2 points

redskins lost: we looked terrible. just awful. the offense sputtered on the goal line every time. the defense was destroyed by the backup running back. just dreadful - 0 points
giants got clobbered, again: i love that the giants paid eli manning 100 million bucks over 7 years and now they are terrible. nice job giants. thanks for the boost in the nfc east!- 1 point
cowboys looked good: they got their first win... dammit. - 0 point

my fantasy team won: i didnt just win, i owned. my score came close to 180 points. the average points per week across the league is probably just below 100. my opponent could only muster 60 points. it was an insane week. i may be the greatest ever. as a result, i will give myself a point for the win as well as a point for the highest point total ever! - 2 points

9/23-9/27 weekend - 7 points - redskins really soured an otherwise great weekend.

Monday, September 27, 2010

from totes lame to totes fame

her name was freda and she was my grandmother. a wonderful woman who fought in WWII and postwar, dedicated her life to teaching. from day one, she had something by her side at all times. it was useful. it was expressive. it had handles and could carry almost anything.

yes. the tote bag.

what happened?! no one likes tote bags... do they!? i mean i know my grandma did. she had an arsenal of tote bags of all different shapes and sizes. she carried books, other stuff and more stuff. she was a teacher so it was nice to put random art supplies in the bag but i never thought of the tote bag as having staying power after the baby boomers. especially with the influx of rascals. seriously, everyone has a rascal nowadays... you can rent them at malls now!

and yet... the tote bag lives on... and not only that... they are growing. at least in popularity.

and who is to thank?

well there are a few factors i think.

1. the go green movement - what is more green that a re-usable bag presumably made out of a fabric that breaks down quickly in the event it does end up in a landfill. people are doing their part by toting tote bags around (see what i did there?!). and good for them! for too long, plastic bags have somehow ended up on highways and in bushes. well "no more!" says the tote bag toters. tote bags are more solid and dont allow the wind to have its way with them. not only that, there is more thought that goes into throwing out a tote bag. god forbid if you get a personalized tote bag... even if you dont want it anymore. you HAVE to keep for sentimental reasons.

2. dc charges for bags - craziness. dc makes you pay 5 cents for a plastic bag. out of all the things that are hurting the environment, im a little surprised that we really honed in on that one. but we did, and somewhere the tote bag coalition cheered!

3. retro is back - isnt weird that people get a thrill out of utilizing old "technology" that is outdated and less modern than other options!? its crazy. but i admit, i do it. not necessarily with tote bags but i like old video game systems where you are a stick figure that seemingly shoots a fire circle from your face or clothes that look like they were hand stitched in late 70's... you know, vintage tee's. the tote bag piggy-backed that vintage momentum and so it goes.

4. apple inc. - seriously, there are so many different apple products you can(do) own that sometimes its just easier to just throw them all in a big bag and call it a day.

5. abbreviation-ing - i truly believe that up until 6 years ago, NO one said the word "tote" anymore. it had shared the same fate as "sike" and "rad" and then we got too cool to finish words. we even abbreviate the word "abbreviate". As a result, the word "totally" became "tote" or "totes". now 100 times a day, i feel like, after allowing myself to get caught up in the ABBREVE hype, i let slip an abbreve and yes, one of them is "totes". and once i say it, i cant help but apply an image to the word.

im sure there are other factors but those were the first few i could come up with. i really just cant believe that there are websites dedicated to tote bags and personalizing them. bands sell them at shows... i just never would have thought. people look at me funny at the grocery store when i show up tote-less.

my grandmother and i tended to disagree on fashion... but maybe i should bow out on this one. you win grandma... you were on the front end of a trend and i didnt know it. you were right all along. the tote is here to stay.

Friday, September 24, 2010

"tell the devil that he can go back from where he came
his fiery arrows drew their bead in vain
and when the hardest part is over we'll be here
and our dreams will break the boundries of our fear"

friday's random music video vol. XXXV

the bad rabbits - "neverland"

Thursday, September 23, 2010

"cause i got a bad habit..."

this entry's title comes from the classic song "bad habit" by the offspring. all of us young elementary school kids with older friends that had access to the smash album, complete with parental advisory, loved this song for its compulsive use of, well, aggressive language.

today, this song became very relevant.

i will now make a series of requests to certain groups of drivers...

if you are from a state where the closest thing you have to highway is the massive parking lot that surrounds your city's walmart, please fly to dc. do not drive here. if you have even an ounce of trouble trying to find your way around a town that has 5 or 6 stoplights, there is NO WAY you can drive in dc. and just because you have a license from a state where dirt roads make up more than half of all roadways, im going to go out on a limb here and tell you that you are in no way capable of making good decisions going 60 mph on an 8 lane highway with multiple exits.

maryland drivers, please stay in maryland. metro if you need to head south.

to all the motorcades in dc, i know you have important matters that trump whatever i do in my life everytime, but i know you know when rush hour happens. its the same time every day. is it too much to ask to not close down major arteries between 4 and 7pm just so you can have an overpriced dinner across town? diplomats, congressman, obama, just try and be considerate to those who, whether you know it or not, actually like to get places in a reasonable amount of time.

i know i seem bitter. im not. im just tired and sitting on the highway dealing with motorcades shutting down 295 and drivers from kentucky doing their best mr. magoo impression behind the wheel did not help.

happy hour time. im walking.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

my so called (football) life - week 2

im going to preface this with "i was at a field party for the weekend and i had little access to tv..." however, the world still turns, life goes on, and football is still played, even without me.

usc beat minnesota: sure, we'll take it. - 1 point
notre dame lost in heart-breaking fashion: not my heart... - 2 points


redskins lost: not to mention we gave away a 17 point lead in the 4th quarter. the irony is that every redskins fan i talked to about the game all had the feeling like we were somehow going to lose the game... i guess after 20 years of bad football, you start picking up on little cues - 0 points
giants got clobbered: awesome. in primetime no less. oh man... totally built up as "the battle of the mannings" but it seemed like the only manning eli was battling was his own lack of talent. - 1 point
cowboys look bad: 0-2 for the first time in 10 years or something... haha - 1 point

my fantasy team lost: the effort was there but the points were not. some notable performances include chris johnson's forgettable performance albeit his quarterback was pulled from the game for being terrible and boldin who also suffered a bit from the fact this quarterback was terrible. - 0 points

9/16-9/20 weekend - 5 points - tough weekend.

Sunday, September 19, 2010

a great man

Louis M. Jarcho, a retired Air Force lieutenant colonel and college educator, died of congestive heart failure September 19, 2006, at his home at the Greenspring Village retirement community in Springfield, Virginia, at the age of 93.

At Greenspring Village, Col. Jarcho was a featured participant in the community's 60th anniversary D-Day commemoration in 2004 and did a local television interview. He also was active in the low-vision support group there.

Col. Jarcho was born in New York City, New York, the youngest of five children of parents who had immigrated to the United States from Belarus in the early 1900s. He grew up on Staten Island, New York, and graduated from Fordham University. He received a law degree from St. Johns University in 1939 and a master's degree in public administration from San Bernardino State University in 1977.

In 1942, after practicing law in New York for three years, he joined the Army. During World War II, he served in North Africa, England and France, primarily with the 436th Troop Carrier Group. He left military service in 1945 as a captain and rejoined the Army in 1947, later transferring to the newly created Air Force.

During his Air Force career, he served in Tactical Air Command and was the base comptroller at several assignments. His postings included Germany, England and the United States, where he served at the Pentagon and National Airport in the late 1940s and the mid-1950s. He retired in 1966.

Col. Jarcho then lived in Victorville, California, where he became president of the school board and taught business law at Victor Valley College for nearly 20 years, until 1990. He returned to the Washington DC area in 2003, where he was active in the Masons and the Rotary Club.

Survivors include his wife of 58 years, Freda Jarcho of Springfield, Virginia; two children, Marjorie Gross of West Los Angeles, California, and Robert Jarcho of Burke, Virginia; and four grandchildren.

this picture was taken moments before i somehow danced my way onto my head only to be revived by someone with glow stick defibrillators...

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

and it begins...

promising to be an extremely memorable thursday...

im excited for tomorrow... so very excited.

after months and months of planning, executing and waiting, it is finally ready to debut.

will it be a hit? will it be a flop? will people laugh? will people not give a shit?

who knows.

we didn't worry about what others have done or not done in the past. we didn't shy away from the ridiculous. if we had an idea and liked it, then we just did it and did not think twice. a lot of fantastic and talented people helped with this and im just excited to be a part of it.

anyways, whether it ends up being the best thing ever or just another piece of fluff, at least we went for it.

and THAT'S the deal.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

my so-called (football) life - week 1

usc barely won - 1 point
usc beat uva... just like w&m did last year(uva is the opposite of good) - 1 point
vtech is 0-2 and lost to jmu (oh man. thats embarrassing.) - 1 point
w&m blew out vmi... but they always do that. means nothing - 0 points


redskins barely won - 1 point
redskins beat the cowboys - 2 points
eagles looked really bad (thanks again for mcnabb... enjoy kolb and dog killer) - 1 point

my fantasy team killed it. im the best, ever - 2 points

9/9-9/13 weekend - 9 points - great start!

Monday, September 13, 2010

me vs. dc - the epic battle rages on

since my move to dc, this lovely town has been systematically testing me.

first, it was the flurry of parking tickets that became a 24-7 concern. i never thought that dc would spend money on meter maids that gave tickets at 4am... but i have several tickets to prove they do...

then, after giving into the system, and becoming a resident, i thought all our differences would be behind us. so after several trips to several dmvs within dc, i finally became a resident. or so i thought. as it turns out, the dmv that finally issued my license provided me with an ID for someone named "Brain"... which is close, but names are something that places such as airports and banks like to be pretty dead on. alas, i'm now in this awkward situation which may include me going through the whole residency process over again.

so going into this weekend, dc was firmly in the lead 2-0.

saturday morning, im driving down eisenhower expressway and getting on 295 N towards capitol hill. as i turn onto the onramp, all the cars in front of me are at a standstill. figuring there was an accident on 295, i prepare for some traffic. 5, 10, 20 minutes go by and we are literally not moving. i had my car in park for most of the time. i get bored and curious and so i get out of my car. here is what i see:

1. there is absolutely no traffic on 295... the few cars on the road are flying.
2. a cop car parked across the on-ramp blocking both lanes
3. a police woman looking for something presumably coming up the highway

well, after a solid 30 minutes of not moving, people begin to get frustrated. the police woman is not having any of it and maintains that she has it under control and that everyone needs to get back in their car. unfortunately, a blind person could tell she was confused, a bit panicked and definitely did NOT have things under control. so while there was a small riot going on between the cars, i elected to call 311... the mayor's all dc helpline. i connected with a nice woman to whom i immediately began explaining the situation. she seemed confused but promised she would connect with the police and find out what was going on. meanwhile, people behind me, fed up with wait, began driving in reverse down the onramp about a quarter-mile to take another exit. it was actually kind of surreal to see a bunch of cars backing onto an interstate exit. something right out of a movie.

within 5 minutes, the police woman put her phone up to her ear, made a number of exaggerated hand gestures and then jumped into her car and pulled off the side of the road. all drivers, including myself, jumped back into our cars and took off. and just like that, it was over.

45 minutes. sitting on an onramp, a police woman holding us all hostage. but why?

one of the drivers and i postulated, because we had a lot of time, that there was a convoy coming through and she was supposed to block traffic for it. however, judging by how clueless she seemed, we assumed that she had missed the convoy and did not realize it. i can only assume that my call into the mayor's office may have helped grease the wheels in clearing things up for her. glad to see all the money i paid in parking tickets may have actually been put to good use.

dc: 3
me: 0

cant wait to see what's the next hurdle dc sends my way...


in typical redskins fashion, we have a small lead and we let the other team get within a few yards of winning...

this time though, we did NOT blow it.

so pumped.

Friday, September 10, 2010

friday's random music video vol. XXXIII

this week's video was brought to you by my brother and his $85 t-shirt that will arrive in 3 to 5 weeks.

chiddy bang - "opposite of adults"

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

fantasy football has begun!!

tonight, i drafted my fantasy football team! my league consists of ten people including friends from high school and others from college. i had first pick in the draft, which means i have the first pick in the first round and then the last pick in the 2nd round. first pick in the 3rd round and then last pick in the 4th round... etc.

here is how i did.

1. Carson Palmer - big season potential with all the new tools at his disposal.
2. Matt Ryan - people are saying that this could be his break out season.

Running Back:
1. Chris Johnson - best running back in the league and got him with the first pick in the draft.
2. Pierre Thomas - integral part of the amazing new orleans offense and will have a big season.
3. Justin Forsett - starting running back in seattle under pete carroll who made some mediocre running backs look amazing at usc.
4. Chester Taylor - back up to matt forte... i think matt forte will be out and chester taylor could be a viable number one.

Wide Receiver:
1. Calvin Johnson - huge receiver and has a ton of talent. young quarterback with something to prove will get the ball to him often.
2. Anquan Boldin - great receiver coming from arizona and fills a necesary number one receiver that was vacant in baltimore.
3. Mike Sims-Walker - jacksonville's number one and he was the reason my team was a contender last season.
4. Johnny Knox - chicago's number one and he is a speed demon... could be a sleeper this season.
5. Braylon Edwards - arguably the number one for the new york jets and if sanchez can get the ball to him, big potential.

Tight Ends:
1. Antonio Gates - he is great. he has been great for years. im pumped.
2. Owen Daniels - was on pace to be the best TE last season until he got hurt in the middle of the season.

1. Mason Crosby - great kicker and he is going to have a lot of opportunities with an aaron rodgers' offense.

1. New York Jets - Defense highlighted in the reality tv show "Hard Knocks" and they are phenomenal.

as you can tell, im really excited about this season. im going to kick some ass.

Monday, September 6, 2010

my brother is STILL the best kept secret in long distance running

as previous entries described, my brother and i took a trip down to virginia beach where he was set to run a half marathon. we left around 8:45pm on friday night and returned home about the same time on sunday. what transpired during those 48 hours was nothing more than a roller coaster of emotion and insane amount of hilarity.

around 8:45pm on friday evening, the trip started out like any other road trip. stop at the gas station, purchase of a few beverages and edibles to help make the drive a little more bearable and of course, turning around after about 10 minutes because my brother realized he left something at home. so around 9:15pm, road trip departure, take 2.

both my brother and i had neglected to eat dinner prior to departure. so as we took off down I-95 south, we became a little too picky about what crappy fast food restaurant we should stop at. somehow a popeye's just north of richmond seemed to attract us. i guess after being on the road for about an hour (10:15pm), we became a bit desperate. we ran out of the car, wallets in hand ready to buy the entire store out of chicken... only to find out it was closed. 10pm is that magical time apparently when fast food choices get a bit thin and we, of course, missed it. we end up eating a completely screwed up order valued at well over $20 of taco bell goodness on the trunk of my brother's car following an unnecessarily complicated trip through the drive-thru. with the wind causing quite a scene, blowing away our napkins and wrappers combined with us trying to figure which items most closely matched what we had actually ordered, dinner was brief and annoying. onward to va beach.

we get to virginia beach around 1am and immediately, our buddy we are staying with went to bed, leaving my brother and i to get comfortable (me on the large couch and my brother on the floor... there was another couch but he took interest in the floor... he was sober...?). after about 30 seconds, i somehow managed to mess up my friend's universal remote and the cable, the tv and a handful of other devices no longer worked. so we decided to stop breaking things and just go to sleep.

around 11am on saturday morning(20 hours prior to the race), we wake up and head to the beach. after trying to find food, buy towels, and return to the place where we are staying because i forgot a few things, we finally reached the beach around 1pm. at the beach, my brother and i do this idiotic thing where we like to burn first and then apply sunscreen later, knowingly. usually though, we just forget to apply sunscreen and such was the case. this whole time at the beach, during the laying out as well as the 25 block walk to 7-11 for slurpees i forced my brother to go on with me (i told him it would help get loose for the race), he and i went back and forth about whether he should actually run or not...

lets back up real quick:
1. he did not prepare for it at all
2. all our friends running it with him backed out
3. he doesnt even enjoy running a few miles, let alone 13 and change.

however, despite my best efforts, my brother becomes adamant that he will run the race. i was actually kind of proud of him. in the face of such odds and adversity, he was going to run! we go to dinner where he becomes the defacto DD. he begins to carbo-load(the act of ingesting insane amounts of starches to provide you with energy) on pasta and i begin my normal saturday night festivities with gin and tonics. as i enjoy my g & t's, i begin to try and peer pressure him into "not being lame" and just throw down a little tonight. my logic is "if he is going to feel like crap anyways, mine as well have some fun!" my brother, strong in his ways, rejects my prodding and stays committed.

we get back to the place we are staying and my brother begins getting nervous about the race. its about 9 pm and theoretically, we have to be out the door by 5am... less than 8 hours. my brother begins reading through the information he was mailed months ago. i, on the other hand, began playing beer pong with some buddies that have just arrived. all of a sudden, my brother's face goes completely pale and i hear a "oh no!"

as clear as day, spelled out on information sheet, "all runners must register and pick up their number on the day prior to the race. no exceptions."

while he and i had been on the beach, sunburning and talking about whether he should run or not, and worse yet, listening to other people at the beach talking about running the race and picking up their information, we had completely missed registration. my brother was officially disqualified at 6pm when registration closed... and we had no idea.

in an instant, my brother's dream of being the first person to not train for a half marathon and win came to a screeching halt. with that, i handed him a beer and we made the most of the situation. of course, we had to give him a little bit of a hard time because after all the build up and miscues along the way, this was just too perfect. focus immediately became going out big which included riding bikes around virginia beach(spent a majority of that time messing up the bus system... who thought it was a good idea for bikes and buses to share a lane on the street... judging by the honking and yelling, we were definitely bad at sharing), hanging out in a rooftop bar that supposedly we had to have tickets to get into(i think we just got on a random elevator and snuck in) and then ended the night by being THOSE guys at the local harris teeter at 2am. i bought a loaf of bread, turkey, bologna and mayo and i ate 6 bologna turkey mayo sandwiches... i couldnt even think about food again until the following evening.

sunday, all feeling a bit rough, we went to the beach, again using the same technique of burn first, forget to put lotion on later, the whole time still laughing about how this whole half marathon situation worked out. the best part was seeing everyone walking around with their medals earned for completing the race... they were everywhere and each one was like a dagger for my brother... classic. finally, around mid-afternoon, we drove back to dc arriving in the early evening.

all in all, a great trip. my brother is pissed but i had a fun time... sure he lost $85 but they are still going to mail him a t-shirt... see bro, not a total loss... you get an $85 dollar tshirt! although, i must say, the shirts look waaaaay better with a medal on the front.

just sayin'

Friday, September 3, 2010

friday's random music video vol. XXXII

i know you havent had enough of this song... well enjoy the new official video. its better than simply the words video and the song still kicks ass.

cee lo green - "fuck you"

Thursday, September 2, 2010

"V" for Victory!

USC Trojans play Hawaii tonight.

My prediction:

USC - 34
Hawaii - 16

Bring it on NCAA sanctions!

didnt even realize today was a holiday...

HAPPY 9-0-2-1-0 DAY!!!!!


Special thanks to Aaron Spelling and the gang responsible for teaching me as a 6 year old all about relationships, sex and drug use.


Wednesday, September 1, 2010

damn you earl.

i will say one thing:

this will make my brother's half marathon a little more interesting...

in other news...

my brother shared with me the itinerary for the weekend:

8pm: Depart DC for VA Beach
2am: Arrive in VA Beach
6am: Go to the registration area for the race
7am: Brother begins running
10am: Race is over... assuming my brother finishes in a reasonable amount of time
11am: Race is over... assuming my brother finishes based on how much work he put into it.
11:30am: Get beers and go to the beach
3:30pm: Pack and head back to DC
10pm: Arrive back in DC

26 hours of awesomeness!!!!

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

who really is scott pilgrim...?!

scott pilgrim vs the world = great movie.

saw it last night with my roommates.

if you havent seen it, and you have any memory of the late 80s - early 90s... you should totally go and see it. yes it has its emo tendencies... ok its pretty significantly emo but its a good time.

ok and while im feeling this stream of consciousness thing... the concept is amazing both in literal meaning and in figurative. the idea of having to face a new person your dating's exes... its so awesome. think about every time you have run into the other person's ex... you are totally posturing... and if life were actually a video game, you would totally battle. now there are always those situations where the ex is still good friends with your new squeeze but if even for just a second, the idea may just skip across your mind. thats the literal sense. the figurative sense is more real. in a way you always battle against someone's exes. their whole take on relationships has been groomed and developed because of those previous relationships...

yes its a michael cera movie which means its very awkward... but its a video game love story with a indie punk rock twist. i mean come on... wasnt that all that mario was when you break it down!? just a plumber trying to save his princess... the only difference is that mario was frustrating... (yeah so what if i never beat those games... i was too busy... well... doing other lame stuff i guess) and this movie is just fun enjoyment.

rock on young savior!

ska is NOT ded.

i just got really nostalgic...

Monday, August 30, 2010

my brother is going down... and he is taking me with him.

here is the situation:

my brother committed to running a half marathon almost 3 months ago. there were going to be a handful of people coming along for this adventure and run the race with him. however, over the last few months, people have been dropping out. however, my brother being solid in his conviction, still intends on running the race, even though, at this moment he will be doing it alone. well, sort of. i agreed to go with him, and as his brother, i refuse to let him down or at a minimum, dirty our good name by not chaperoning this little misadventure and letting him run amok across the state.

the best part: my brother has done little to no prep for this half marathon. in fact, he has been quoted as saying "im eating a lot of steak so i can put on weight." im no marathon running expert, and really not even much of a jogger, but i know enough to know that is a bad half marathon strategy. we are going to drive 5 hours to virginia beach this weekend and im going to have to watch my brother bravely attempt something that is only as hard as he has made it... which is pretty damn hard.

i have gone ahead and brainstormed some potential outcomes:

1. my brother will harness some kind of mutant strength and finish the race in the top few hundred spots

probability = 0% - 2%: im not saying its impossible. my brother has surprised me before... but he is also my brother and this is just not going to happen. if it does, by some miracle, happen this way, he will be so not fun the rest of the trip because he will be so sore. as a result, i dont like this option for very selfish, but valid reasons.

2. we get there and my brother decides to forget about it and we go to a bar instead

probability = 20%: for others, this would be higher but i think my brother will let his stubbornness take hold and it will be hard for his sensible side to succeed. this, however, is my favorite option. i wont try and sway him on this but i will be pretty pumped if this goes down.

3. he will run the race and finish... eventually

probability = 40%: he is an athletic kid and so if anyone can finish the race, its him. it could happen... but ive seen him run down the street to move his car before the parking enforcement people get there in time... and to be honest, it wasnt that impressive... and it was only 30 feet away. 13.1 miles, with less on the line, seems a bit daunting.

4. he will run the race but will get picked up by the straggler van because the race is over and they need to allow traffic back on the roads (this to me is the same outcome as him just walking off the course...)

probability = 60%: honestly, id be shocked if he lets them pick him up. too much pride. he is not a quitter, but he will simply claim that he has lost interest and thinks there is something more fun going on over there...

5. he will wake up on friday and say that we arent going to virginia beach anymore

probability = 70%: i think this has a high chance of happening. no one likes to sit in a car, with most likely horrific holiday traffic, for several hours, only to lose to people 3 to 4 times older than you in broad daylight in front of a lot of people. however, i am definitely not pulling for this option as i do like the beach. not only that, but this option definitely is the least hilarious.

anyways, as my brother does not read this blog very often, im sure he wont even realize i have analyzed this weekend to this extent, at his expense. i will keep you updated as to how this ends up.

Friday, August 27, 2010

i think its time to discuss the dance party...

last night, a handful of us rolled to a local joint known as the rock and roll hotel. the last time i spent a significant amount of time there, i was at a parachute concert with then almost totally unheard of band called the script. that night went very badly for me... and the morning, which involved getting on a 6am cross country flight the wasnt much better. ANYWAYS, so last night, we all rolled to "the hotel on h" and we were welcomed by strobe lights, a dj and a wide open dance floor. that could only mean one thing...

and in that instant...

a dance party was born.

when birthing a dance party, there are several things to keep in mind to make sure it is successful.

1. its ok to spend a few solid minutes at the bar loading up on some liquid courage.

2. number one is important because its a dance party! the most important thing is that you dance. good or bad. so get out there! no wallflowers allowed!

3. no judgment. nothing kills a good dance party like a dance snob. my experience with dance snobs is that half the time, they suck at dancing and take to ridicule as a form of getting out of being judged themselves. the other half may good dancers but they are over-compensating aggressively for something whether it be lack of personality, lack of self-confidence or they are just aggressively insecure. either way, ignore them. you may suck at dancing, but they suck at life.

4. no one is an island. dance parties are at their best when you play off each other. it could be a hook up, a best friend, a stranger, an inanimate object etc... going solo is cool but at some point, you gotta make it a team sport

5. take breaks. god knows you are sweating, have a cramp, feel the red bull vodkas coming back up... just wait for a song you dont LOVE and you can do without dancing to and just take a breather. dance parties are marathons, not sprints. take your time and enjoy the ride.

6. bad songs will happen so you just have to make the most of them. its everyone's responsibility to keep the party alive. make up a silly dance to go along with the awkward beat. do you know the words?! pretend you are the lead singer and just own it. in 3 minutes and 25 seconds, another song will begin and it will most likely be sweet... be patient and in the meantime, keep the dream alive.

7. dont be afraid to take the dance party on the road. just because the bar closed, doesnt mean the dance party ends. hells no. you have a floor. you have music. get home asap and pump up the jams! dance parties that go til the sunrise are some of my fondest memories, granted i usually get most details from third party sources.

8. protect each other. no dance party is a true dance party without at least one creeper. the guy/girl no one knows that just starts grinding on people. dont panic. just use some creative maneuvers to make it not worth their while to continue. i personally like the "night at the roxbury" move where you save someone by getting at least 2 other people, surround the friend and begin friend-grinding relentlessly until the creeper gets so confused, they have no recourse but to slowly walk away.

9. dont drop your drink!!! it happens. so does shards of glass through the foot. if you think you are at risk, kill the drink, place the glass somewhere stable and rejoin the party.

10. dont be afraid to sing along. we both know anything top 40 you have on lock down. so sing it. its totally cool to sing during a dance party. they put vocals to the song for a reason... so get in there hannah montana and sing your head off.

ok thats all i got. just 10 quick points i thought about last night while we broke. it. down. so next time you are about to begin tearing up the floor boards, try and remember a few of those. they will definitely make your dance party a positively groovadelic experience!

woo, what an insane night. more to come tonight i hope...

RBVs all around!!

friday's random music video vol. XXXI

anberlin - "impossible"

Thursday, August 26, 2010

this movie makes a little more sense...

special thanks to lauren from prague who brought this piece of work to my attention! well... not directly to my attention, i stole it from the person she ACTUALLY sent it to...

a simple truth

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

and the most emo post of the week goes to...

recently, i enjoyed an activity that i had not done in a long, long time. its very innocent in nature and yet is an incredible way of both expressing yourself and learning a lot about someone else. before i allow people's imaginations to run wild, i will just go ahead and kill the suspense. im talking about sitting down with someone and going back and forth sharing songs, one at a time, and learning not only about bands and genres you didnt know before but also about that other person.

now sure, i have played a song or two for someone and vice versa but very seldom is a lengthy chunk of time set aside for such an activity. its usually one that ebbs and flows between overly emotional and air guitars... and lasts for a minimum of 3 hours.

i did this once in college. my friend and i walked to the amphitheatre that sits on a lake on the outskirts of the campus and each toting our laptops, spent several hours playing songs that either rocked, had some kind of importance to us or sometimes both! it was a lot of fun and one of the more memorable experiences from college. (i had others but any time it involved the fraternity, sororities or my job as a bouncer at a bar, seldom could i honestly call things memorable on account of lacking those specific memories...)

recently, i did this again but this time it was in the comfort of my own home, to the dismay of the horrific mosquitoes flying around DC these days. it was just interesting to grab a couple bottles of wine, get drunk and get exposed to a musical genre i am very unfamiliar with. not surprisingly, i loved talking about songs that i love and showing off my expansive knowledge of all things emo/pop punk. but the coolest part was learning about someone else through the songs they selected to play me. story-telling became a constant after the first 30 seconds of each song, sometimes leading to having to replay the song a second time because "the best part" was missed do to conversation about a memory associated with it. all of sudden, several hours have passed. such a good time.

anyways, something to think about next time youre having a low key night. whether its someone you know really well or a new friend, just grab some wine/beer/booze/candy and just devote a solid chunk of time to learning more about their music tastes. music has a funny way of attaching to people's soul and creating a soundtrack, of sorts, to their own experience. i promise, you will get much more than an expanded musical library from those few hours.

"this jigglespoof is sooooo emo"


Tuesday, August 24, 2010

wow... i live in a scary, scary town.

so there was an article in the DCist about the upcoming tea party rally coming up on the 28th. below is some advice that the tea party of maine posted on their website as tea party members travel to dc... i think its always good to know what other americans think when they travel to dc.

"DC's population includes refugees from every country, as the families of embassy staffs of third world countries tend to stay in DC whenever a revolution in their homeland means that anyone in their family would be in danger if they went back. Most taxi drivers and many waiters/waitresses (especially in local coffee shops like the Bread and Chocolate chain) are immigrants, frequently from east Africa or Arab countries. As a rule, African immigrants do not like for you to assume they are African Americans and especially do not like for you to guess they are from a neighboring country (e.g. Eritrea, Ethiopia, Somalia) with whom they may have political or military tensions. It's rare to meet anyone who gets really offended, but you can still be aware of the issue.

Many parts of DC are safe beyond the areas I will list here, but why chance it if you don't know where you are?

If you are on the subway stay on the Red line between Union Station and Shady Grove, Maryland. If you are on the Blue or Orange line do not go past Eastern Market (Capitol Hill) toward the Potomac Avenue stop and beyond; stay in NW DC and points in Virginia. Do not use the Green line or the Yellow line. These rules are even more important at night. There is of course nothing wrong with many other areas; but you don't know where you are, so you should not explore them.

If on foot or in a cab or bus, stay in Bethesda, Arlington (preferably north Arlington), Crystal City, Falls Church, Annandale, or Alexandria, or in DC only in northwest DC west (i.e. larger street numbers) of 14th or 16th streets, or if on Capitol Hill only in SE Capitol Hill (zip 20003) between 1st and 8th Streets, not farther out than 8th (e.g. 9th, 10th etc). (Or stay on the Mall and at the various monuments.) Again there are many other lovely places, from the Catholic University of America to Silver Spring, Maryland. But you don't know where you are so you cannot go, especially at night, unless you take me with you."

At the time the DCist posted this article, there was only one comment... this is that sole comment that someone posted.

"While I was there [in 1998] I stayed in a cheap hotel and had the window open. I was on the third floor. I called home and while I was on the phone there was a burst of 9MM automatic weapons fire in the street. My wife said it was pretty loud and was that the TV? I told her it wasn't the TV. It was live in the street in Washington, DC, which is more dangerous than Baghdad."

more dangerous than baghdad, eh? apparently, fox news is still claiming the first "mission accomplished" i guess...

but you know, if i ever go to maine, i will have some serious street cred.

Monday, August 23, 2010

happy 29 years mom and dad

yesterday was my parents' 29th wedding anniversary! so awesome. congratulations on the first 29 and i look forward to the next 29 and then some!

love you both.

terrible day... but this brought a much-needed smile to my face

**DISCLAIMER: Song is the un-edited version and they drop the F-word about 30 times as well as write it out... so if you are in a place that watching MIGHT get you in trouble, then dont.**

ceelo... thank you for gracing my ears with this catchy gem of a song. hilarious.

Friday, August 20, 2010

its lunch time... and this came to my mind.

i mean... they are kind of delicious.

friday's random music video vol. XXX

so this is kind of a unique frmv... and i wanted it to be kind of weird mainly because this week's volume number makes it look like a porn. i decided, as a result of this once in a lifetime opportunity, i was going to have to dig real deep and find something special. this video is the definition of special. enjoy.

ps dont worry, despite the potentially inappropriate volume number, this video is completely PG.

Never Shout Never "cheatercheaterbestfriendeater"

NeverShoutNever | MySpace Music Videos

never shout never - "cheatercheaterbestfriendeater"

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Uncle {Jiggles} has a nice ring to it...

just got fantastic news that one of my best friends from high school, along with his wife, a good friend of mine from college (i introduced them!), are going to have a baby girl in January!!!

now, im not one to get baby fever but this is HUGE! the first of my group of five buddies, all best friends since at least 8th grade (some since elementary school) and continue to remain real close to this day, to have a kid.

WATCH OUT WORLD! We have begun to multiply. I'm so pumped. I will also be requesting that until the baby is born, everyone now refer to me as uncle {jiggles}, regardless of whether you know my buddy or not. i want to get used to it so when i hear it at xmas, passover seder, thanksgiving and any time i surprise them in cleveland, i answer to it without question.

CONGRATS TO CARL AND KAREN AND THEIR BEAUTIFUL BABY GIRL TO BE! 2010 has been good but this little bundle of joy will kick off 2011 with a solid amount of awesomeness!

ps i am officially giving you permission to make her middle name {jiggles}... just so that's cleared up and out of the way.

**names have been changed to protect the innocent.

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Public Service Announcement


If you are on a bicycle, and using that instead of fossil fuel-burning modes of transportation, high five! You rock. You are incrementally saving the world and I truly appreciate that. That being said...


If you are on said bicycle, going very slowly, in the middle of a lane of a two lane busy road AND you have decided to forgo underwear so that I am blessed to have you provide your full ass for my viewing pleasure as we creep at 5mph, GET THE HELL OUT OF THE WAY!


I'm driving on Florida Avenue, having just left a great meeting on U Street NW and heading to H Street NE. On my way, I encounter a bicyclist. Happens all the time. No big deal. However, this certain sloth on wheels is drifting toward the center of my lane. With oncoming traffic, and my recent bout of car drama, I was not about to risk trying to go around him. Sensing that he may be pissing off the line of cars stacked up behind him going disturbingly slow, he stands up as if to pedal a bit harder and get a move on. Well, if the desired outcome was to move faster, alas, he failed. However, if the outcome was to provide a healthy serving of bare ass, then big win for this fine sir. And lucky me with undeserved front row seats.
It was then after a few blocks of this guy's crescent moon leading the way... that I actually laughed, shattering my overall "this is my nightmare" demeanor. This was so ridiculous that it was actually kind of funny. I thought about me and the 15 cars all lined up behind me, funeral procession style, all craning to look and see what the issue is... only to have this guy's bare ass hit them like a smack in the face. It was kind of amazing. After 5 FULL BLOCKS of this "moonlit" drive through NW DC, he finally pulled off to the side of the road and stopped, as if freeing us after minutes of imprisonment. At that moment, I gave my first gear a break and took off. But as I passed this gentleman, I kind of wanted to roll down the window and give him my best Eddie Izzard "job well done" impression.... (go to 0:59)

anyways, thats been the highlight of my day... Doesn't really say much for today... But then again, on a day as dreary as today, what more could I ASS for?!


ok back to work.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

i know, i know... im posting a lot of music... but its just one of those days.

i havent listened to this song in a month... and then i randomly heard it in a coffee shop in eastern market. i forgot how awesome it is. dallas green, the mastermind of this epic slow jam, is so talented and i feel blessed to have met the man. so humble. so grounded. and easily one of the most talented musicians around.
"I found life out on the weekdays
When we would drive to some new city
Call me crazy I was born to make a mess
Would you love me still if I were to confess
That I had a little too much fun
Back when I was young

I've got these habits that I cannot break
And as I'm older there is more at stake
Go ahead and call me fake
But these are the sins
The sins of my youth

I break habits just to fall in love
But I do it on designer drugs
You can call me dangerous
But these are the sins
The sins of my youth

All these mainstream made emotions
Made me the boy that they wanted me to be
But when I took down my defenses
For the first time there was something in me
Something in me
Hot like a smoking gun
Back when I was young

Would you love me still...?"

Monday, August 16, 2010

i mean... this is normal... right?

there is something so amazing about throwing a really good house party. ESPECIALLY when people set it up for you. lets run through some of the highlights of this past weekend's party at my house...

1. i finally got to wear the youth small parachute t-shirt (as seen above, no to mention a sweet giraffe mask!) my buddy chris jones sold me at a parachute show forgetting i am not in fact a youth small.

2. my roommate set up a full club in the basement including but not limited to: stage lights, double record turntable, fog machine and he dj'ed all night! (pictured below)

3. chillin on the rooftop watching three guys fall over themselves on the other side of the street having just left our party

4. hung out with a cast member of the real world new orleans. i told him i wasnt a fan... he seemed to be ok with it. we did take a shot together so i think we are good terms

5. there was a lot of obligatory dancing

6. the punch!!! twas delish.

7. old and new friends... more new than old though as no one in the house actually arranged the party

all in all, saturday night was a show, literally and figuratively. good times had by all. also, i need to party in board shorts more often. or maybe i just need to wear more shorts in general... my brother would be proud.

Friday, August 13, 2010

Thursday, August 12, 2010

a cautionary tale of "WTF?!"

Sunday, August 1st - came home around 2am from alabama, where i attended a wedding... still most likely drunk.

Monday, August 2nd - wake up at 8am and take my car in for routine servicing. 4 hours later after sitting in the waiting area, i am presented with an $800 bill. sweet

Monday, August 2nd - that evening, i went online and paid some parking tickets. realizing that Tuesday morning, I am going to march down to the dc dmv and register my car.

Tuesday, August 3rd - wake up on a bright sunny day to a $100 dollar expired tags ticket sitting on my car. time of ticketing!? 4:30am.

Tuesday, August 3rd - frustrated, i go to the dc dmv and stand in line for 3 hours. when i get to the desk, i find out that i cant use just any piece of mail with my dc address on it, it has to be a copy of the lease. so i leave, prepared to return again.

Wednesday, August 4th - go back to dmv prepared to become a dc resident. another 2 hours in line... and well wouldnt you know it, i need to have my car inspected in dc before i can register. so i leave head hanging in shame.

Thursday, August 5th - wake up at 6am and get in line for the dc inspection facility. yes, there is only ONE place in all of dc that provides inspections so me and hundreds of my closest friends from all over the city line up with me. i sit in my car until about 9am when i finally am asked to get out my car for a 2 minute process of making sure my car is not personally responsible for the depletion of the o-zone. and i am now driving straight to the dmv.

Thursday, August 5th - arrive at the dmv ready to finally become a dc resident. but sadly, arriving at 9am means 4-5 hours waiting in line and after 2 hours and not really moving, i leave so that i can retain my job. however, while waiting in line, i do become the mayor of the penn avenue dc dmv on foursquare... silver lining!?

Thursday, August 5th - the time is now 4pm and i just want to get this crap over with. i go to ANOTHER dmv hoping that it is faster and it was maybe the best dmv i have ever been to. i was in and out in an hour and am now proudly a dc resident and proud owner of dc plates. finally over and i am a dc resident!

Friday, August 6th - my car is having trouble accelerating over 60 mph... and im not sure why. i call my repair center that gave my car $800 worth of repairs earlier in the week and they tell me to just bring it in on monday.

Saturday, August 7th - i get into an accident.

Sunday, August 8th - car is definitely struggling and not performing well.

Monday, August 9th - get to the repair shop at 8am for my car to looked over again. 3 hours of sitting in the waiting room... again and they tell me that my catalytic converter has had some kind of freak problem and has completely deteriorated from the inside. bill to replace? $1300 dollars. they tell me that they are going to try and help me with the cost. they then take to the closest metro and send me back into the city with no car.

Monday, August 9th - honda will cover half because of how much of a freak situation this is. however... $650 is still a lot. i am to pick it up in the morning on Tuesday.

Tuesday, August 10th - get up early and pick up my car. she runs well and even though, i now lack another $650 bucks, im glad to have her back.

Tuesday, August 10th - that evening, my roommates and i are going through the mail. something came for me from the dmv. as i look closer at the front of the envelope, i realize that they spelled my name "B-R-A-I-N" and unfortunately, my name is not brain. after a few moments, i realized that this letter was probably automatically generated. so i grab my wallet and pull out my brand new ID. sure enough, i had failed to see this before but my official name in DC is BRAIN. so much for taking a flight anywhere and using my ID...

Tuesday, August 10th - i go over to a buddy's place to play some poker. after 3 hours of poker, one beer and giving $40 generously to 7 guys i dont know that well, i decide to head home. one of the guys at the game lives near me so he asks for a ride and i say "sure!" As we are driving back, he asks how i normally get back to capitol hill. I tell him and he then tells me he knows a back way. Sounds fun! we take a non-descript exit from 295 and go under a bridge. as we come out from under the bridge, i realize that there is a small blockade of vehicles blocking the path. an officer pops out and tells me to stop. he comes up to the car and here is the following conversation:

me: how are you officer?
johnny law: did you realize that you drove through 3 authorized vehicles only signs to get here?
me: no?
johnny law: sir, have you been drinking tonight?
me: i had one beer two hours ago.
johnny law: i ask because i can smell alcohol coming from the car. please step out of the vehicle
me: um... ok.

he then proceeds to wave a pen in front of my face for 5 full minutes to see if i can follow with my eyes but not move my head... i passed but my heart was pounding out of my chest.

johnny law: i better not see you back on this road again. you understand?!
me: yes, sir.

he lets me get back into my car and i drive this guy home and then get back to my house.

this has been my last week and a half regarding my car. hopefully... HOPEFULLY i got all this craziness out of the way and now i can just enjoy a nice relaxing time with my car as a new dc resident. i dont think i can take much more drama involving my vehicle.

Monday, August 9, 2010

when life gives you lemons... go right to corporate.

for those that know me... it has been a tough couple weeks. really having to do almost exclusively with my car. just so many issues. i found myself getting really upset and cursing everything that moved. i cant tell you how many times i apologized to that poor squirrel...

but today, after venting to several people about the last few weeks... i finally realized that everything was going to be ok. the old cliche "it could have been worse" is an old cliche that still has merit for a reason. life sucks. things happen for no reason and usually when one bad thing happens, it calls its buddies and gets a little crew together and they decide to get really drunk and vomit on your sunny day.

but all that reverb always makes you try and find the silver lining. and i think i did just that. while i walked around the vast blocks of nw dc failing miserably to hail a cab... i said to myself, "i will never take my car for granted again."

maybe this is what i needed! from now on, maybe ill take better care of my car. maybe ill be more careful with maintenance and inspections. take better care when i travel and park it. maybe take it to get washed once a year or so...

but also maybe ill take a step back even farther and think about all those people that came running to my side. all those people that i interact with on a daily basis that when hearing i might need help or a ride or just support, reached out and offered everything but their own car... and even then, someone did just that. i need to make sure those people know that i appreciate their support and definitely dont take them for granted either.

life is a bunch of lessons strewn together with the goal of making you into the best person possible and i got caught snoozing in class and bam, pop quiz. and i bombed it. but you know, next time, just maybe ill be better prepared.

i hope so. i dont think i can stand another set of hours in the honda waiting room watching mister opportunity propoganda... dear honda, i bought the car already... everyone here is waiting for service issues... STOP PUSHING YOUR DAMN (albeit, i still love hondas so very much) vehicles on me let me watch the price is right... sheesh.

so life, thanks for the study hall. i think my lesson is learned... if i could get a nice little recess from anything having to do with automotive frustration... i will definitely participate a little more in class.

want an apple?!

i cant believe its been a year...

Friday, August 6, 2010

friday's random music video XXVIII

"A tiny spark to set it off.
Ignite the dark and live it up!

Don't fix it if it hasn't broken yet.
Don't regret it if it hasn't happened yet.

So let's go, a tiny spark to set it off.
I'll explode. Ignite the dark, illuminate the unknown.
But since your head's in the clouds the best advice I found is don't look down."

for whatever reason this band always makes me think of chris jones... chris, if youre reading this, this one's for you homie!!

four year strong - "it must really suck to be four year strong right now"

Thursday, August 5, 2010

yo jay sean, im down with down

i love random feature interludes in songs and no one has quite the same ability to pull off some greatness as lil weezy... these are the lyrics from jay sean's "down" and i love it. in the right moment, you can catch me performing this 30 second piece of genius... if you're lucky.

"Even if the sky is falling down like she supposed to be,
She gets down low for me,
Down like her temperature, ’cause to me she zero degree,
She cold, overfreeze,
I got that girl from overseas,
Now she my miss America,
now can i be her soldier please,
I’m fighting for this girl,
On the battlefield of love,
Don’t it look like baby cupid sending arrows from above,
Don’t you ever leave the side of me,
Indefinitely, not probably,
and honestly im down like the economy,

clever... and so insanely pop-tastically catchy.

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

after months and months of trials and tribulations...

im a dc resident.

i know i know... ive given up my southern roots from the great state of virginia and i jumped the river. it had to happen. however, to truly be honest, i did it so they would stop giving me parking tickets at my house. but im still proud of my dc license and my new dc license plates.

pretty sure the average attractiveness of dc residents just doubled. so dc, youre welcome.

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

DC, im giving YOU a ticket... for being terrible

what the helllll is with DC?! and i thought northern virginia was bad...(where ive lived all my life). i get it... the city doesnt have a lot of money. but making people who just move to you miserable with all your parking tickets and rules and damn fines and cameras. DC is too expensive and it has nothing to do with the price of groceries or housing. you are the devil... i seriously want to hire a lawyer and somehow sue the damn city for all the shenanigans they pull. they have a million meter maids, (yeah big 300lb man giving me a ticket while i stand there next to you, you are a meter maid) and yet the tap water is crap and there are areas that are still not safe and do not have enough police presence. keep up your psychotic ways and when you finally come up with the money to successfully run a city, nobody will live here.

i really hope someone gives me an exit interview when i leave dc... and ill show them how they almost bankrupted a citizen, who because of my job, requires that i drive around dc and sometimes has to over stay a spot because a meeting runs long, which may be the difference to me eating the following week... and yet, murderers, drug dealers, robbers, and everyone else evil in nature basically have free reign around here. good idea. drive out the people work their ass off and contribute... i hope you like what's left.

ok for those calling my bluff, im not leaving dc anytime soon... but put me in the ring with a damn meter maid for 10 minutes and i swear you'll think you are watching the video game Punch Out and im just wailing on glass joe... just pummeling him... over and over... standing... laying on the ground... he's getting the full 10 rounds... rat bastard.

Saturday, July 31, 2010

things that rock: day 31

day 31: friends

FINALLLLLLLY done with this whole countdown thing. for those who were actively keeping tabs on my progression through the month, you may have noticed that i fell behind. but i caught up and now i'm exhausted!

anyways, friends. yes, my dear friends. friends are the most important thing that rocks. so crucial in everyday life and have made almost everything possible. all the previous 30 things that rock would not be possible (mostly) without friends there by my side. i would have given up a long time ago without the people mentioned in previous entries... so thank you.

short and sweet. like my good friend dustin... for example.

Friday, July 30, 2010

things that rock: day 30

day 30: weddings

weddings are the bomb. what else could you ask for. booze. dancing. more food than you know what to do with. a band and/or dj. they are the most epic party you can attend.

this past weekend, a good friend of mine i used to work with had a wedding in alabama. knowing this friend fairly well, i knew that this person knows how to throw a party so i HAD to go. so i made my plus one my buddy rylo for extreme party potential and we took off for the great state of alabama. the wedding was on a lake and we got there a full day before to really soak it all in. it was amazing. great people. great activities. and of course, more jim beam then you could squeeze out of kentucky at one time.

friday night was the after rehearsal dinner party which had a band and open bar and food... saturday afternoon was a party on the lake where people took life jackets, rode them like a horse, and bobbed in the lake while holding their drink of choice. i elected to knock it up a notch and go tubing. not the normal lazy river tubing that i thought... no no this was the get thrown in the river and pray kind of tubing. note to self: water at 30 mph is not as forgiving. ridiculously fun though... rylo does a great impression of me before i got launched for the first time... but ill give a quick preview...

i had yet to be thrown off and so the driver, with some of my friends giving him some advice, decides that he is going to "get rid" of me. he basically does donuts with me on the outside a three person tube. rylo is sitting next to me in the middle of the tube and other friend is on the far side. i quickly realize that im taking an extended joy ride and begin to scream to rylo "why are they trying to get rid of meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee" in a trailing away fashion and then splash.

at the time: hurt.

in retrospect: hilarious.

after a quick nap, off to the wedding which was held in a lake front open chapel that was gorgeous. granted the alabama heat made it a tougher ceremony than ones indoors but it was done as quickly and efficiently as possible and it was beautiful. i think rylo even shed a quick tear. he wont admit it... but he did.

then to parttttaaaaaaay....

lets see... there was champagne, tons of food (have you ever had fried quail!? its awesome!!), a NEW live band that did katy perry's cali girls and it was fantastic. they had jars and jars of firefly... it was awesome. we danced, we drank, we laughed... and we got drunk. real drunk. i will end the story there. i dont remember the rest and anything people tell me is just hearsay.

sunday morning, we had a hangover lunch at taco bell and then it was back on the plane.

weddings are awesome and i loved every second of this past weekend. seriously, its hard not to have a blast at a wedding and its easy when the people are incredible.

special thanks my dear friend from the great state alabama who let me (and rylo) join in their celebration.

friday's random music video vol. XXVII

the debutaunts - "this is yours"

Thursday, July 29, 2010

things that rock: day 29

day 29: pets

i miss my puppy. her name is nikki and she was only 6 weeks old when she fell asleep on my foot and i decided to throw all my support(as much as 6th grader has) behind selecting her as our family dog. what followed was 15 years of fun times, great memories, a few scares and whole lot of love. however, i went to college and then moved back to the city but always living with buddies. i still see my pup here and there but not as much anymore. not since the last few days of high school, have i truly known what its like to have a pet.

all that changed in november of last year when a buddy of mine moved in with me and brought along two cats. i dont typically like cats. however, i realized how much i had been craving a pet, whether it be a dog, a cat or a nematode. SOMETHING. one of the cats he brought and i hit it off immediately. my buddy told me that this cat was extremely skiddish and spent most of its time hiding next to the toilet before moving in with us. however, after just 3 months of me constantly giving the cat some TLC, his personality completely changed. granted, in retrospect, i feel bad for unleashing about 9 years of not-having-a-pet affection that had been building up... but it appears as though we both needed it. a few months later my buddy moved and it was a sad scene. but it made me realize something. someone like me just needs a pet.

someone like me? so... an emo, self-proclaimed athletic type with constant craving for taco bell? no no.

someone who likes to talk a lot whether it be to humans or to animals, both usually having no idea what your talking about??? not exactly... geez im pretty critical of myself.

no, i mean someone who can be affectionate(i know, im a tool). someone who likes having something that is constantly ready for a back scratching session or a fun simple game involving a toy being thrown and eagerly brought back. there is just something about an animal's unconditional love. i think everyone needs a pet.

so you ask, what is my perfect pet?

a big 100 plus pound white alaskan husky with sky blue eyes. i love these animals and they are silly intelligent. also very affectionate. very protective and yet playful. so that's the dream. definitely in the next 5 years. until then, im going to continuously drop by my buddy's place because i just "happened" to be in the area and play with my old feline pal.

maybe i should just get a job as a pet sitter...

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

things that rock: day 28

day 28: universal contempt for maryland drivers

im definitely curious to see where people fall on this one but as someone who now lives in the district and drives all over creation for their job, i have quite a few encounters with maryland drivers. i dont what the deal is specifically... but for some reason, they are always the ones going 20 mph in the merge lane of 395 south trying to some how merge with traffic going 65 mph or going the wrong way down one way street or simply stopped in the road because they are lost. my horn mine as well be mr. t's voice saying "maryland driver, get out of the way fool!"

however, this blog series isnt about what annoys me. this is about what rocks. the only positive aspect of these motorized liabilities puttering around our streets is the common frustration held by many with whom i have commiserated. i love when im driving, i get cut off by a maryland driver and the person in the car with me makes a comment before i do! in an instant, any differences held between us simply fade away as we unite against a common frustration. Random people I meet with day to day have surprised me with their similar observations of maryland drivers.

the best part is the brainstorming with these new friends that takes place when trying to come up with the reason for the curiously common driving style of the land of mary. it may just be perception. with such drastic differences between northern virginia drivers who are some of the most aggressive in the country and the stereotypical maryland driver who has maybe a little less urgency and also never mastered the turn signal. maybe its the process of people getting licenses. i got my license in virginia but apparently, there is no real road examination in maryland. no practice merging on and off a highway with an instructor. no experience with difficult road situations. apparently, as long as you know what each sign means, for the most part, you can drive! (please pick up my sarcasm) part of it may be the type of roads in maryland. maybe they are very different to dc and virginia roads in terms of design and organization. i do just fine in maryland but maybe i learned on more complicated roadways and alongside more aggressive and less forgiving drivers.

the moral of the story is that there is no easy answer. but whatever the case maybe, without fail my life becomes increasingly more difficult when im trying to get work done during the week because of cars with maryland plates. however, one thing i want to make sure that i make clear that this does affect how i feel about people from maryland. i love people from maryland. i tend to be closer on the political spectrum to marylanders. i love st. andrews(the place they shot wedding crashers. went there for a work retreat and it was awesome) and some of the fine maryland beaches. my redskins play football in maryland. heck, ive eaten several meals at the maryland house off of i-95 and it was glorious.

all that being said, friends from maryland, do my blood pressure a favor and just let me drive. in return, ill try to keep frustrated comments with your brethren to a minimum... i said try...