my brother is going down... and he is taking me with him.

here is the situation:

my brother committed to running a half marathon almost 3 months ago. there were going to be a handful of people coming along for this adventure and run the race with him. however, over the last few months, people have been dropping out. however, my brother being solid in his conviction, still intends on running the race, even though, at this moment he will be doing it alone. well, sort of. i agreed to go with him, and as his brother, i refuse to let him down or at a minimum, dirty our good name by not chaperoning this little misadventure and letting him run amok across the state.

the best part: my brother has done little to no prep for this half marathon. in fact, he has been quoted as saying "im eating a lot of steak so i can put on weight." im no marathon running expert, and really not even much of a jogger, but i know enough to know that is a bad half marathon strategy. we are going to drive 5 hours to virginia beach this weekend and im going to have to watch my brother bravely attempt something that is only as hard as he has made it... which is pretty damn hard.



i have gone ahead and brainstormed some potential outcomes:

1. my brother will harness some kind of mutant strength and finish the race in the top few hundred spots

probability = 0% - 2%: im not saying its impossible. my brother has surprised me before... but he is also my brother and this is just not going to happen. if it does, by some miracle, happen this way, he will be so not fun the rest of the trip because he will be so sore. as a result, i dont like this option for very selfish, but valid reasons.

2. we get there and my brother decides to forget about it and we go to a bar instead

probability = 20%: for others, this would be higher but i think my brother will let his stubbornness take hold and it will be hard for his sensible side to succeed. this, however, is my favorite option. i wont try and sway him on this but i will be pretty pumped if this goes down.

3. he will run the race and finish... eventually

probability = 40%: he is an athletic kid and so if anyone can finish the race, its him. it could happen... but ive seen him run down the street to move his car before the parking enforcement people get there in time... and to be honest, it wasnt that impressive... and it was only 30 feet away. 13.1 miles, with less on the line, seems a bit daunting.

4. he will run the race but will get picked up by the straggler van because the race is over and they need to allow traffic back on the roads (this to me is the same outcome as him just walking off the course...)

probability = 60%: honestly, id be shocked if he lets them pick him up. too much pride. he is not a quitter, but he will simply claim that he has lost interest and thinks there is something more fun going on over there...

5. he will wake up on friday and say that we arent going to virginia beach anymore

probability = 70%: i think this has a high chance of happening. no one likes to sit in a car, with most likely horrific holiday traffic, for several hours, only to lose to people 3 to 4 times older than you in broad daylight in front of a lot of people. however, i am definitely not pulling for this option as i do like the beach. not only that, but this option definitely is the least hilarious.



anyways, as my brother does not read this blog very often, im sure he wont even realize i have analyzed this weekend to this extent, at his expense. i will keep you updated as to how this ends up.