keep your expectations low and i will rise to the occasion.


Thursday, September 23, 2010

"cause i got a bad habit..."

this entry's title comes from the classic song "bad habit" by the offspring. all of us young elementary school kids with older friends that had access to the smash album, complete with parental advisory, loved this song for its compulsive use of, well, aggressive language.

today, this song became very relevant.

i will now make a series of requests to certain groups of drivers...

if you are from a state where the closest thing you have to highway is the massive parking lot that surrounds your city's walmart, please fly to dc. do not drive here. if you have even an ounce of trouble trying to find your way around a town that has 5 or 6 stoplights, there is NO WAY you can drive in dc. and just because you have a license from a state where dirt roads make up more than half of all roadways, im going to go out on a limb here and tell you that you are in no way capable of making good decisions going 60 mph on an 8 lane highway with multiple exits.

maryland drivers, please stay in maryland. metro if you need to head south.

to all the motorcades in dc, i know you have important matters that trump whatever i do in my life everytime, but i know you know when rush hour happens. its the same time every day. is it too much to ask to not close down major arteries between 4 and 7pm just so you can have an overpriced dinner across town? diplomats, congressman, obama, just try and be considerate to those who, whether you know it or not, actually like to get places in a reasonable amount of time.

i know i seem bitter. im not. im just tired and sitting on the highway dealing with motorcades shutting down 295 and drivers from kentucky doing their best mr. magoo impression behind the wheel did not help.

happy hour time. im walking.

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