me vs. dc - the epic battle rages on

since my move to dc, this lovely town has been systematically testing me.

first, it was the flurry of parking tickets that became a 24-7 concern. i never thought that dc would spend money on meter maids that gave tickets at 4am... but i have several tickets to prove they do...

then, after giving into the system, and becoming a resident, i thought all our differences would be behind us. so after several trips to several dmvs within dc, i finally became a resident. or so i thought. as it turns out, the dmv that finally issued my license provided me with an ID for someone named "Brain"... which is close, but names are something that places such as airports and banks like to be pretty dead on. alas, i'm now in this awkward situation which may include me going through the whole residency process over again.

so going into this weekend, dc was firmly in the lead 2-0.

saturday morning, im driving down eisenhower expressway and getting on 295 N towards capitol hill. as i turn onto the onramp, all the cars in front of me are at a standstill. figuring there was an accident on 295, i prepare for some traffic. 5, 10, 20 minutes go by and we are literally not moving. i had my car in park for most of the time. i get bored and curious and so i get out of my car. here is what i see:

1. there is absolutely no traffic on 295... the few cars on the road are flying.
2. a cop car parked across the on-ramp blocking both lanes
3. a police woman looking for something presumably coming up the highway

well, after a solid 30 minutes of not moving, people begin to get frustrated. the police woman is not having any of it and maintains that she has it under control and that everyone needs to get back in their car. unfortunately, a blind person could tell she was confused, a bit panicked and definitely did NOT have things under control. so while there was a small riot going on between the cars, i elected to call 311... the mayor's all dc helpline. i connected with a nice woman to whom i immediately began explaining the situation. she seemed confused but promised she would connect with the police and find out what was going on. meanwhile, people behind me, fed up with wait, began driving in reverse down the onramp about a quarter-mile to take another exit. it was actually kind of surreal to see a bunch of cars backing onto an interstate exit. something right out of a movie.

within 5 minutes, the police woman put her phone up to her ear, made a number of exaggerated hand gestures and then jumped into her car and pulled off the side of the road. all drivers, including myself, jumped back into our cars and took off. and just like that, it was over.

45 minutes. sitting on an onramp, a police woman holding us all hostage. but why?

one of the drivers and i postulated, because we had a lot of time, that there was a convoy coming through and she was supposed to block traffic for it. however, judging by how clueless she seemed, we assumed that she had missed the convoy and did not realize it. i can only assume that my call into the mayor's office may have helped grease the wheels in clearing things up for her. glad to see all the money i paid in parking tickets may have actually been put to good use.

dc: 3
me: 0

cant wait to see what's the next hurdle dc sends my way...