keep your expectations low and i will rise to the occasion.


Wednesday, March 17, 2010

the only holiday you remember the morning after more than the day itself

happy st. patrick's day to one and all!

this is a big day... probably one of the biggest days... that those who love it the most... remember it the least. and on the flip side, those that hate today... vividly remember spending the night yelling at drunkards pissing in their yard.

i get a little nostalgic about my past st. patrick's day. i group them into grade school periods of time.

k-2nd grade - the green feet taped all over the school. follow them to get the leprechaun! (that was before i saw the movie, the leprechaun in third grade one night on cinemax and became deathly afraid of leprechauns). back then, i just wanted to be one of the kids in the lucky charms commercials.

3rd-6th grade - lets make shamrocks! lets eat green cookies! lets decorate the classroom with as much green as possible! those were the days. i loved elementary school. and while i was awkward, embarrassing and rocked a janet reno-esque look proudly (different gender... but the hair and glasses... identical), st. patty's was the great equalizer because all you had to do was be able to make a kick ass shamrock and you were money. for the day.

7th-11th - pinched. punched. pushed. the three p's. somehow, you were protected if you were wearing green. and for me, someone who loves wearing green, each year it seemed to slip my mind to set out my st. patrick's day protective clothing. i tried the green boxers thing... but that just meant a wedgie, the realization that i was not, in fact, wearing green boxers and then a punch.

12th grade - boom goes the dynamite. the loss of innocence. time to discover what this holiday is really all about. peal away the leprechaun cardboard cut outs and the green construction paper... and ladies and gentleman, you had booze. all it needed was one kid to have the lucky fortune of having their parents leave town for a week and forget to lock the liquor cabinet. and there you have it, my first st. pattys day party. green drinks, green hats, green beads, and of course the blue and red lights towards the end. nothing like excessive force to thwart excessive underage drinking.

college - maybe you wore green... maybe you wore the same thing from the night before... maybe you ended up wearing nothing running around campus... whatever you did or did not wear, you drank. not because you wanted to or because your undying admiration for the miracles performed by st. patrick, but because you live for the true college experience that is waking up at 7am and taking shots, keg stands before lunch, drunk lunch consisting of fried foods, afternoon adventures (stumbling) around campus, "the nap" aka "the sleep where you fall" and of course the big party with beads and costumes and enough alcohol to last several hours of constant consumption. the best part is this was all usually in the middle of the week! "is it a thursday!? is a monday?!" it didnt matter what midterms you had or papers that were due, it took precedent. march 17th... and lets be honest, most of the 18th as well, were shot or... should i say, shots. hah!

the real world - parties are now extended happy hours. the green beads have been traded in for green button downs and the classic kitschy neck tie with a leprechaun and his pot of gold on it. however, im always impressed by those 9-5ers who show up to work every other day of the year like they own the place but on march 18th... they stumble in like a mack truck just played ping pong with them on the way to work. if they even come in to work at all!! i love it. "go big or go home" they say all night, calling shenanigans on anyone calling it a night before 11pm. and then they come in the next day reeking of booze. the saying becomes just "go home."

so many memories... and trust me, that's with me unable to access quite a few. so have fun today/tonight celebrating the one alcohol's biggest day. haha and major props to those who are already drunk! you are the true champions of this holiday.

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