Day 60

i am using my blog to write a letter to a special someone who decided to pull up a chair next to me at a Starbucks in Adams Morgan.

Dear father of two,

First off, I hope you had a wonderful weekend. Did you see the Oscar's? Wow, Franco was bad, right!? I know...

Anyways, for the future, please do not bring your two young boys to a Starbucks, let them split a coffee and then have them sit at a group table where it is blatantly obvious that every other person, pushing 6 people in total, are here working. I know you have a caffeine addiction (probably because you get no sleep from your kids abusing caffeine-laden liquids...) and love to read the paper somewhere other than your kitchen table. However, getting your kids hopped up on coffee (they split a large, just to jog your memory) and letting them wrestle on the floor over the empty coffee cup seems unnecessary. I also want to point out that simply throwing out the coffee cup does not solve the problem. In fact, as I write this, one of your young children is standing over my shoulder presumably reading this as I type it. That's fine because I'm saving the real colorful language for later...

Anyways, I'm not mad at your two boys. Heck, I want 35 just like them. However, you and your desire to create a tornado of noise and commotion and lack of parental supervision in a Starbucks during business hours is deplorable.

In short, don't give your kids coffee, don't bring them to a Starbucks with nothing to do but fight over trash while you read the paper and most importantly, if you fail to follow the first two instructions, please, at a minimum, acknowledge the fact that your are an asshole and apologize to those around you.

Warm Regards,

"My name doesn't matter because the only thing I'm giving you is the bird."